Posted by Dave Buck on May 8, 2009 under CoachVille Caffeine, Top Story | 
Tune in as we open the coaching dialogue of the year
The next three minutes could change your life as a coach forever. I have been thinking about this topic for a long, long time. I have ranted. I have perturbed. I have also engaged in some wonderful and thoughtful conversations with great coaches who have very different views than my own.
Somewhere between rant and reason
lies the best approach to this
IMPORTANT Exploration.
The one thing I know absolutely is that we – as a community - have to talk about it.
We can’t just carry on with this big elephant in the Coaching room as if it wasn’t there.
A few important things…
1) I respect the ICF. I think the ICF is a good thing. And I am very proud of our ICF Accredited School – The Center for Coaching Mastery. I KNOW we teach the ICF basics as well as any other accredited Coach Training School even though I personally disagree with several of the points.
2) I don’t expect the ICF to alter its definition of Coaching based on these conversations – but I hope they do.
3) I will RANT on a few of these topics AND I want to hear what you have to say whether it is the in alignment or contrary.
4) We are going to talk about it every week on CV Caffeine Show for the next little while..
My plan is to thoroughly explore
this topic from many points of view
and I can ONLY do that if YOU JOIN IN.
Conversation Starters
1) The statement: “The client has all of their own answers” does not appear anywhere in the ICF lexicon.
I know where the phrase came from because I was very close to the source. But how did it become such a mythical concept?
It is soooo obviously NOT true!
How do I know? Because I don’t have my own answers half the time. And the older and wiser I become – I hope – the more I realize how often the answers I do have are wrong. By listening to other wise people I find better answers a LOT of the time.
At the same time, I can see that this myth has served a purpose or two. Let’s talk about them and see if they still serve.
2) The client is the expert in his/her own life.
OK. That is good from the perspective that every human has the right to choose his/her own path in life.
However…
Given that soooo few people consider themselves happy and fulfilled in life and work, that expertise is seriously in question in my book.
3) Expert in the GAME!
Coaches help players play a game better. That IS what we do. The player may or may NOT be expert in life but they DEFINITELY are not expert in the new game they want to play better. That is why they hire a coach in the first place.
This notion of coaches not having or needing expertise ignores the truth that Coaches TEACH players how to play the game; OR how to play the game at a higher level.
This is true whether the game is personal leadership, business, loving family, soccer, vibrant health, financial freedom or trombone.
4) The client chooses the focus / agenda for each session.
OK. There is a partial truth here because of course the player chooses what they want to accomplish.
But after that, my experience is that the players’ agenda is off purpose 50% of the time. And if you simply go down the bunny trail of whatever they want to talk about on a given day, you end up getting fired for lack of results.
The truth is that a LOT of the time what the player MUST address lies outside of their comfort zone and it is the coaches job to push – gently – the agenda in that direction because the players agenda for a given session is a complete distraction.
As a player, I have done this with my Coach and always ended the call relieved and disappointed that we didn’t get to what really mattered.
I am just warming up.
Be sure to tune in.
Monday 05-11-09, 1 PM ET – CoachVille Caffeine Radio Show
JOIN IN AND share your thoughts
We will open the exploration of the myth and concept: The Client has all of their own answers.
Bring your experiences and opinions to the call and be sure to volunteer to share when we open up the lines.
To participate in this call AND to gain immediate access to the complete CV Caffeine Archives:
Visit CV Caffeine Community for phone and web access details.
Show time: 1 PM ET by phone and blogtalkradio; Followed by a podcast.
There you will find the phone and web access details for the call.
Posted by Dave Buck on under CoachVille Caffeine |
Give people what they want OR Speak from your own truth
There is a great debate happening among the communication guru’s in business and academia:
Is it best to find out what your audience wants and needs and respond to that?
OR
Is it best to go inside, find your truth and share that?
With web 2.0 tools it is easier and easier to connect with lots of people and find out what they want and need.
But does that really help you communicate more effectively?
Have you noticed that MOST people have no idea what they want?
Have you learned that LOTS of times people resist what they really need?
Yet if you are out of touch with the people you serve can you really add value?
I attended a lively Communication Symposium at Baruch College in NYC on Friday. Featured on the platform were two great academics: Jeff Jarvis, author of “What Would Google Do?” and Peter Elbow, author of “Writing with Power”.
They offered VERY different perspectives and the debate was lively.
I’ll share with you a few key ideas that I picked up.
How do YOU do it?
As a coach you are in the communication business. How do you resolve this issue?
We will open up the lines to hear what you have to say.
If you are especially jazzed about this topic and want to be sure you have a chance to share, simply send me an email (my address is at the bottom of this note) and we will clear some space for you.
I would LOVE that.
NOTE: Next week (05/11/09) on CV Caffeine we will throw some gasoline on the coaching industry fire with this topic…
The client DOES NOT have all their own answers.
There. I said it.
Be sure to tune in.
Monday 05-04-09, 1 PM ET – CoachVille Caffeine Radio Show
JOIN IN on the CO-CREATION AND share your thoughts
We will explore different sides of the communication debate.
Bring your experiences and opinions to the call and be sure to volunteer to share when we open up the lines.
To participate in this call AND to gain immediate access to the complete CV Caffeine Archives:
Visit CV Caffeine Community for phone and web access details.
Show time: 1 PM ET by phone and blogtalkradio; Followed by a podcast.
Posted by Dave Buck on under | DAVE BUCK |
A little known yet ESSENTIAL coaching skill.
My player is a self-employed business woman playing the financial freedom game with a LOT of urgency. Her financial reserves are dwindling. She is dedicated, smart has a BIG heart and LOTS of personality yet financial success has been elusive – she is NOT winning the game very often.
Using the Play Better Coaching Method TM we hone in on critical recurring moments in the game and find a way to play better for the desired results. Recurring critical moments are the JUICE of coaching yet most coaches don’t know to look for them or what to do if they find them. Here is an example…
It is Monday morning and she has a lot to do today:
> A workshop in the evening that she needs to prepare for.
> A few coaching clients in the afternoon.
> A few follow up calls to make to folks she met recently – they may be prospects for her workshop, 1-1 coaching or potential referral partners.
She has a need to run a quick errand to the bank that is 5 minutes away. She gets in the car and goes. Walking to the car after taking completing her errand she has a thought: “I could run over to the store and take care of another errand while I am out.” Two other errands come into her mind as well.
She gets into her car and pulls toward the exit.
Does she go left to the store and other errands – essentially taking herself OUT of her financial freedom game for the morning?
OR
Does she turn right and go back to her office and get into the game.
This is a CRITICAL RECURRING MOMENT.
A swirly mix of conflicting intentions, thought patterns based in early life events and a variety of beliefs and fears. FANTASTIC!!!
It happens over and over again. The way this moment of choice plays out will determine if this player will win the game consistently or face failure.
Monday 05-04-09, 9 PM ET – You Can Coach Weekly Show
JOIN IN on the CO-CREATION AND learn great coaching tools
We will explore how to find these critical moments in ANY life game. Your coaching power will greatly expand when you do.
Bring your game to the call and be sure to volunteer as a player and I will help you find your critical moments.
AND…
I will tell you which way she turns 
To participate in this call AND to get a current copy of the R&D version of my ebook “You Can Coach” simply join the “You Can Coach!” community at CoachVille – it is free for all CV Members.
There you will find the phone and web access details for the call.
